Johnny Cash sings it best

I really only write when I am inspired to do so.

I had one heck of a text-a-thon with my girlfriend Catherine tonight. Of course there's emotion because I miss her, its been a couple weeks since I've seen her, but it seems to be a genuine feeling of just happiness more than anything.

Its hard to explain happiness as its felt because every person experiences it differently and under different circumstances I believe. Its a general feeling we all know that, but its not simple because its common. I believe its as complex as the makeup of the human body.

I am happy for many reasons that include being on par with God first and foremost. I really think I am inside His will at the moment. I can't say I am doing everything right and without blemish, but I am where I need to be. I feel good about decisions I've made of late and how those have worked out for me thus far. Granted not all of them have come to fruition. I can also attribute some of the happiness to having a girlfriend that is as genuine as the love God has shown to me by putting her in my life. I could go on and on about her, but to do so would be to my shame by so inadequately describing her and how much its a God thing that shes even in my life. I also have awesome friends like James and Joanne Price, Derek Boyd and Wayne Graham that support anything I do like they would a brother. Having a family like mine isn't a hindrance either (ah some sarcasm finally leaks out). These things have come together quite nicely for me.

All of that can be simply put into perspective as a Newsboys song- "Spirit Thing".
It can't be explained with astronomy or over a phone with Mrs Cleo.
Its one of those things that has to seen through the actions of the person experiencing them.

Its been along time since I've been happy.
I've been discontent with my life and my God many times over the last 4-5 years and I am not proud of that because I know better and shouldn't have let it happen. I've had my good moments in there many times actually, but none have lasted because I've screwed them up. I have thrown happiness away because I was blinded by myself. I dug myself into a hole that was to deep for me to get out by myself.
(I've been using the words "I" and "myself" a lot for a reason)
The biggest obstacle to my happiness was myself. Its something where only letting go and letting God is the only cure. He purifies with fire too.

To be happy you have to be given happiness by the God who created it and how you get it is between you and Him.

As for the Johnny Cash cameo its for the reason of which I was inspired today- my amazing girlfriend Catherine.

I fell into a burning ring of fire and it
burns
burns
burns

You know when...

You know when you sin how you feel awful?

More specifically the sin which is a vise that you can't seem to shake or keeps coming back?
The thorn in your side?

Yeah, that one is one that makes you feel the worst cause you think you've beaten it and it just never lets up! Makes you hate the Devil a whole lot huh?

Immediately after you blame the Devil you somehow seem to get rational and start the troubleshooting process. You eventually end up with you. Now you feel really bad huh?

The trouble with being human is being human. All we do is sin and its our nature to do so. The cool part about being a Christian is that we have found a way to not feel so bad. Its not the Fire Insurance Policy we picked up going for a swim in the sanctuary, its the process of forgiveness.

A true gift, nothing we deserve or ever will, but merely a simple gift from God. Mercy is given to us on no logical plane. We receive mercy because God has the unimaginable love for us.

By the time you realize this you are starting to feel better right?

Now is the part where you act and put thinking aside. Ask for forgiveness and let the power of it do the rest.

The thorn in my side make me detest myself when I let it get the best of me. I can't let it go untreated cause I am looking out for her. She means so much to me. I am putting her on a pedestal higher than God? It feels like it, is it wrong? Shouldn't letting God down be enough?

I don't understand everything and certainly not this. I just know I need to get better at repelling it.

Do work son!

Start of Challenge

Got my first workout in and I have forgotten how good it feels to workout and feel soreness. I need to gain about 24lbs to meet my challenge goal. Hopefully I can get into really good shape and STAY that way. Hopefully I can create good habits of working out that will stick after the challenge is over.

Also I am one lucky guy thanks to Catherine. Awesome birthday this year- stuff dreams are made of.